Why I buy into the Beauty Myth

While drinking my morning cup of coffee, wondering why my body ached so much – ‘cos it’s Monday – my eyes kept closing – ‘cos it’s Monday – and genuinely worrying about my upcoming tax-return saga – ‘cos it’s Monday – my inbox presented me with The Guardian’s fashion digest. Among it was an old yet fantastic report on beauty fixes that require no surgery, written by Sali Hughes. In my opinion, Sali is a pretty decent beauty writer. She bases her reviews on products that have been tested by herself or by her friends. Through her I have learnt a lot about make up and beauty, but also, life – she’s particularly brilliant at The Pool . Having read this article when it first came out almost 2 years ago, I went to the comment section to check whether any of the regulars had used the products mentioned or had other suggestions.

However, what I found was hate. No other word for it, just pure, undiluted, heavy hate. Hate for Sali, hate for her writing, but mostly hate for the “beauty myth” and anyone who dares buy into it. Apparently, if you are a feminist, or of sound mind, or if you have any self-respect, beauty products are a massive NO-NO. Here are some of my favourite quotes:

“Advice for the obsessively vain on how to spend (or should that be “waste”) vast amounts of money on their vanity. Makes you wonder why we bothered with feminism.”

“This article makes me sad.”

“Is society really that obsessed with wanting to pretend to be young? What’s the point? We’ll all be dead in the blink of an eye.”

Oh and the winner:

“The Guardian readership might be interested in the columnist’s Twitter feed or the comments on her site http://forum.salihughesbeauty.com/forum.php – to see what she and her group think of those who have dared express an opinion here which is less than flattering.

Reply: Why? I am not in the least interested in your bitch fest.”

So, in view of all of this, I’m just going to say the following:

1. If you are so bloody confident you ditch beauty creams, facials, make-up, good for you. Now piss off
2. If you have a perfect face/hair that requires no make up, no colour, no re-touching, good for you. Now piss off
3. If your life is about judging others for not being as “awesome” as you, good for you. Now piss off

You see, I’m a feminist, a strong-minded woman with my own political, philosophical and social views. I have a Master of Arts, I speak 4 languages and, guess what? This morning I put on make-up. I did so in the way tutorials by Sali Hughes taught me. I work from home, I am not going out today and spending my day alone. So why did I dare plaster my face with the ointments the patriarchy wants me to use? Because when I look in the mirror, I choose not see an exhausted version of myself, as guess what? Looking like I’ve just been dragged through the sewers is a style I don’t favour.

Make up and facials, creams and red lipstick have A LOT to do with being a feminist. Women rights today allow us to make our own mind, taking decisions for ourselves and no one else. Oh and also,

4. If you ever think I overdo it with the eyeliner, or the number of face creams I buy, good for you. Now piss off

I’m off to play with the eyeshadow palette I bought myself for my birthday, so I’ll leave you with this:

It’s Christmas, go treat yourself

It’s finally Christmas. The season of Yule is here, with its colourful lights and mammoth supplies of eggnog . There is nothing to be gained in refusing every mince pie that is happily shoved into your face, saying no to those ever regretful office parties or convincing yourself you will never get caught in a kitschy Christmas jumper – even the Foo Fighters are selling one. Embrace it with open arms, wear that tinsel on your head and knock back some Baileys before diving into the crowds, for the stress filled-bonanza of shopping for others.

Or, maybe… you could do it all the same, but buying for yourself. If there is something more heartwarming than overpriced mulled wine or receiving yet another singing elves e-card, is the joy of loving oneself. In the gospel of Parks and Recreation this comes under the TREAT-YO-SELF psalm. And it is good.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love giving presents to others, especially when I gift something that doesn’t involve socks or a voucher. Few things beat seeing the face of a loved one light up… but, let’s face it, it comes a close second to gifting yourself. That wonderful feeling when you open your wallet to buy that special object you may not need, but will make you endlessly happy. I did that recently, except it was less of buying an instant joy fix, but more, investing in my long-term happiness.

This particular TREAT-YO-SELF moment came via Sali Hughes’ Pretty Honest, a cute book on the outside, filled with all things beauty and wellbeing on the inside. It was a treat because, generally, due to my being-a-writer-with-no-means-but-a-hell-lot-of-dreams budget, I get my books from charity shops or borrow them from someone. On this occasion, this was not possible. So off I went spending £15 on the Guardian Bookshop – because, apparently, I’m a liberal and screw Amazon, really.

Being “pretty honest” about this photo: Jarvis doesn’t get out of bed for less than two biscuits

Sali’s book is packed with no-nonsense advice and straightforward explanations that are very useful for a hopeless tomboy like myself, or anyone wanting to learn about how to make the most of their skin. Amongst chapters on make-up, serums, pregnancy beauty and the like, my eye-opening discovery came via: “wait, you TIP at the hairdressers???!!”– there I was, happily collecting negative hair-karma points with my blissful ignorance. Who knew? But yes, it is common practice.

Truthfully, this book has been pretty life changing, or more exactly, skin-changing. A long sufferer of acne and moody skin, Pretty Honest helped me truly identify, once and for all, my skin type and discover what lotions would suit me best. After a month following Sali’s advice, my skin looks clearer and brighter, to the point that I recently braved my biggest fear: going out with my fringe pinned back. My bangs are my best allies and the fail-proof way of hiding some forehead lines I detest. Now, those lines have practically disappeared and this is when those £15 – plus a few more I spent on the right, yet inexpensive, products – make Sali’s book a worthy investment in my happiness.

Treating oneself  is an act of selfishness, albeit of the good kind. You don’t even have to spend money, it may mean eating your partner’s chocolate because, hey, you deserve it. It may mean going out for a walk because it’s blissfully sunny, instead of spending the afternoon working like an ass in front of the computer – which I did that today. It may mean going to the cinema accompanied only by a huge bucket of popcorn, and eating said bucket in its entirety. It’s that clear moment when you realise “yes, I bloody well deserve this”. It’s Christmas, don’t fight it. Grab the tinsel, enjoy a delicious drink, and TREAT-YO-SELF .

Pictures: Fashion Limbo

The ultimate fashion tip

If there is one tip that I find actually works, and that can be applied to states of stress, depression, sickness, nervousness, moments in which everything surpasses me, it’s to make the effort to look good. Whether by styling my crazy hair, getting out of the pyjama bottoms – I could live in them – or applying some make-up. It works.

It’s about feeling good about myself, whenever I catch my reflection in the mirror or on a shop window. If I look good, I have something less to fret about, adding ease of mind and helping me feel better. Think about the opposite: if I do nothing, go out without washing my face or choose the beaten up old pair of yoga trousers to dress for the post office, it’s
very likely I will soon regret not having made a slight effort.
Why give myself the extra worry? It can take less than five minutes. These are my rules:

1 – Regarding make up, bucket loads are not required. Maybe mascara and some lipgloss, or just some foundation and a light blush. Personally, I feel made up with just some brown eyeliner, concealer to cover some dodgy areas and lip balm.

2 – Never underestimate the power of a nice fragrance. It’s been scientifically proven – that’s “Jess talk” for I read it somewhere – that people wearing perfume feel better about themselves. I love refreshing body sprays, no fuss and quick to apply after a nice shower.

3 – Invest in some nice loungewear, or ask for it on your next birthday. It’s not the same to walk around the house in your pyjamas – which is absolutely fine to do once a week, with a tub of ice cream, and The Good Wife on repeat -, than to do so with some nice-fitting cotton trousers and a flattering top. This applies especially if you work from home. It’s just too tempting to make no effort, and speaking by experience, it eventually will make you feel pretty miserable.

If it works for me, it can work for you. Whatever you are going through, whatever is making you curse your life at the moment, you deserve to feel better, you deserve to be happy about the way you look. You deserve to smile. Never forget about yourself.

Picture: Fashion Limbo

6 beauty products I keep going back to

This is a post about certain beauty products I would buy in bulk if I could. Little fixes that I always stock up on whenever there’s a promotion. They work, and have changed my skin for the better.

It took me a few years to realise just how picky my skin could be. I never experienced acne as a teenager, but in my late twenties, it became a constant war, with visits to expensive dermatologists that served of very little, – not that I wouldn’t recommend going to one, I just didn’t find the right person to deal with my skin – years of scrubbing, using harsh chemicals and, ultimately, treating my skin really badly. It ended up being oily in some areas, yet extremely dry, dehydrated and flaky in others. With regards to what has worked in my case, it’s mostly down to gentle thorough cleansing, the right face cream and make up.

Lush has been a massive discovery to me. Angels on Bare Skin (Piel de Angel in the picture) is a fantastic cleanser I use twice daily with the hot cloth cleansing method (see Sali Hughes for this). It provides very gentle exfoliating, and cleanses without stripping your skin of very necessary oils. It smells like heaven: almond, lavender, chamomile. Then there’s Vanishing Cream, a light, über soft face cream with Witch Hazel extract (a natural antibacterial) and dashes of lavender, rose, grapeseed oil, honey and lindseed infusion. Both these products have done wonders for my skin, which at present, is perfectly clear and extremely healthy.

For when I need an extra pick-me up with my skin, I have Kiehl’s and it’s actually amazing Midnight Recovery Concentrate.

The first time I heard of this product I thought it was the result of an effective marketing campaign, and possibly a fad. However, even with the expensive pricetag (around €40 on my side) I decided to give it a go and Oh-My-Dior was I impressed. Every time I use it (after cleansing my skin, before applying my night cream) the morning after my skin looks plump and bright, as if I’ve slept for 10 hours. It’s basically beauty-sleep in a teeny weeny bottle. I only apply a couple of drops on my forehead, and around my eyes and cheeks. For me, it works, brilliantly.

With regards to make up, with my unruly and over-sensitive skin, most foundations would clog up my pores, and wearing anything for long hours became a no-no. That is until I came across bareMinerals.

Their Matte SPF15 Foundation agrees with my skin. It’s light, easy to apply – just make sure you invest in a good brush, specific for mineral powder -. If I feel like it, and need it for extra coverage, I grab my Mac concealer to camouflage any imperfections, and finish off with Mineral Veil also by bareMinerals.

Another miracle product comes in the form of a primer, by Urban Decay.

Their Eyeshadow Primer Potion comes in handy with my eye-liner addiction. I normally go for the original shade, and it’s simply brilliant. If I want eye make-up that stays in its place, all day, rain or shine, this is the product I go for.

Last but not least, my favourite lip balm, discovered via a goodie-bag, it has to be Carmex.

I would be lost without my daily dose of Carmex lip balm. Oh how many times have I ran through Gatwick airport in search of this little pot of subtle magic. It’s extremely pleasurable to wear. Works great when applied in a tiny amount (dab a tissue on your lips to remove excess) as a base for red lipstick.

And that’s it. These are the products I go back to, over and over. Tears will fall the day any of these go out of production, so I welcome any suggestions on your own favourites.

x

Pictures: Fashion Limbo