It’s Christmas, go treat yourself

It’s finally Christmas. The season of Yule is here, with its colourful lights and mammoth supplies of eggnog . There is nothing to be gained in refusing every mince pie that is happily shoved into your face, saying no to those ever regretful office parties or convincing yourself you will never get caught in a kitschy Christmas jumper – even the Foo Fighters are selling one. Embrace it with open arms, wear that tinsel on your head and knock back some Baileys before diving into the crowds, for the stress filled-bonanza of shopping for others.

Or, maybe… you could do it all the same, but buying for yourself. If there is something more heartwarming than overpriced mulled wine or receiving yet another singing elves e-card, is the joy of loving oneself. In the gospel of Parks and Recreation this comes under the TREAT-YO-SELF psalm. And it is good.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love giving presents to others, especially when I gift something that doesn’t involve socks or a voucher. Few things beat seeing the face of a loved one light up… but, let’s face it, it comes a close second to gifting yourself. That wonderful feeling when you open your wallet to buy that special object you may not need, but will make you endlessly happy. I did that recently, except it was less of buying an instant joy fix, but more, investing in my long-term happiness.

This particular TREAT-YO-SELF moment came via Sali Hughes’ Pretty Honest, a cute book on the outside, filled with all things beauty and wellbeing on the inside. It was a treat because, generally, due to my being-a-writer-with-no-means-but-a-hell-lot-of-dreams budget, I get my books from charity shops or borrow them from someone. On this occasion, this was not possible. So off I went spending £15 on the Guardian Bookshop – because, apparently, I’m a liberal and screw Amazon, really.

Being “pretty honest” about this photo: Jarvis doesn’t get out of bed for less than two biscuits

Sali’s book is packed with no-nonsense advice and straightforward explanations that are very useful for a hopeless tomboy like myself, or anyone wanting to learn about how to make the most of their skin. Amongst chapters on make-up, serums, pregnancy beauty and the like, my eye-opening discovery came via: “wait, you TIP at the hairdressers???!!”– there I was, happily collecting negative hair-karma points with my blissful ignorance. Who knew? But yes, it is common practice.

Truthfully, this book has been pretty life changing, or more exactly, skin-changing. A long sufferer of acne and moody skin, Pretty Honest helped me truly identify, once and for all, my skin type and discover what lotions would suit me best. After a month following Sali’s advice, my skin looks clearer and brighter, to the point that I recently braved my biggest fear: going out with my fringe pinned back. My bangs are my best allies and the fail-proof way of hiding some forehead lines I detest. Now, those lines have practically disappeared and this is when those £15 – plus a few more I spent on the right, yet inexpensive, products – make Sali’s book a worthy investment in my happiness.

Treating oneself  is an act of selfishness, albeit of the good kind. You don’t even have to spend money, it may mean eating your partner’s chocolate because, hey, you deserve it. It may mean going out for a walk because it’s blissfully sunny, instead of spending the afternoon working like an ass in front of the computer – which I did that today. It may mean going to the cinema accompanied only by a huge bucket of popcorn, and eating said bucket in its entirety. It’s that clear moment when you realise “yes, I bloody well deserve this”. It’s Christmas, don’t fight it. Grab the tinsel, enjoy a delicious drink, and TREAT-YO-SELF .

Pictures: Fashion Limbo

Should You Dress Your Dog?

Fashion trickles down onto everything. Whether we like it or not, trends drive how we behave and the lifestyles we choose. In recent years there’s been a huge shift on how dogs are considered within the household, in many ways this evolution being for the better. The majority of people that have a dog will have the animal sleep under the same roof. Most people will even spend a good amount of money in accessories such as plush bedding and interactive toys to keep their furry friend happy. A lot of dog owners choose only dog-friendly holidays, where they can share their time off with their pets.

And now, we have actual dog fashion, as in clothing brands that are marketed towards dogs and owners who will buy a collar with a certain print, or a jumper with a colourful pattern. When it comes to dressing up your dog, I cannot help but feel like there is an invisible line, in which you go from “dog owner who wants to keep their dog warm” to “crazy dog-person who dresses their chihuahua in a tutu and tiara”.

I really got into dog fashion when I adopted my best friend, Nero, more than 7 years ago. I remember being so excited about my little companion that I bough him a camo-tee with “Action Pup” written on the back. To me, this was treading the very thin line between funny and ridiculous. A year later, I pushed the envelope a tad further… with a Yankees sweater.

I’d like to say no humans were harmed in this photoshoot, but Nero was pretty miffed at me

The fact that Nero would walk sideways, à la crab, every time he wore the sweater was a dead giveaway: what I found cute meant nothing to my dog.

There are ways of dressing up your dog, in the same way as there are many different reasons to do so. Sometimes it’s not about aesthetics. Any dog expert or veterinarian will tell you that certain smaller breeds, with short or barely any hair, do require an extra layer of warmth during the colder months. Greyhounds have such delicate thin skins that it’s advised they wear a coat if they are going to engage in play with other dogs.

I’m a firm believer of “to each his own”. If for you happiness comes from dressing up your dog in skirts, tees and beanies, go ahead. I do however wonder how these animals actually feel about it. Some owners will swear their dogs love to don some Santa shorts and a hat every Christmas and who am I to refute that?

Due to the fact that Nero is small and pretty thin on the furry side, decent canine attire is something I’ve learnt to look out for. Being a dachshund mix, he is fussy as hell and will refuse to walk in anything with sleeves or hoodies. I couldn’t have been happier when, more than a year ago, I found a brand that hits the nail on the head with regards dog fashion, Pepito & Co.

Their garments are very wearable and easy to clean, even catered for fussy dogs, as Celia, the lovely designer behind the brand, once told me. Their rescued dachshund Pepe, doesn’t enjoy garments with sleeves. So everything that is manufactured has to be canine-approved, otherwise it’s discarded. Celia and her partner Rubén are continuously inspired by their beloved dogs: Blondie and Pepe, and now, wonderfully sassy Conchita. Pepito & Co products can be bought via their online store and, recently via HOUNDWORTHY in the UK.

Yes, I’m a sucker for cute things, so it’s no surprise that when I found another sausage in need of a home, I adopted said wiener. I bought him his own Pepito & Co collar because I felt he deserved his own stars. I’m hoping one day I’ll be able to afford one of the travel bags by Pepito & Co, they are ridiculously cool-looking, and, I said I’m a sucker, didn’t I?

Jarvis giving good face with the 2013 Americana collar, part of a limited edition

I can’t help loving my dogs as much as I do. I honestly don’t make them wear anything they are not comfortable with …anymore. Having a dog is a massive change in lifestyle and I, for one, am happy to see cute accessories aimed at making my life easier and my dogs happier. I don’t know if I will ever be OK with dogs being dressed up as princesses or pirates. This is the thing about trends, they end up permeating everything. If it makes you smile and you are 100% convinced your dog wags its tail happily every time the superman suit comes out, it’s not the worst you can do. You could be one of those people who buys a dog of a fashionable breed to then abandon it when things get tough. For that, personally, I have zero tolerance.

Pictures: Fashion Limbo via @sausagemafia on Instagram,  Santos Román por Pepito & Co

Swapping Barcelona for the countryside

Almost 5 moths ago, I quit my Barcelona life and moved to the English countryside. I left with many good wishes, paired with several jokey voices warning me to wrap up, kiss the sun goodbye or unwarrantably tell me they could NEVER do it. I was welcomed to East Sussex with plenty of smiles from loved ones, but whenever I encounter someone new, they seemed very puzzled about my decision: “why on Earth would you want to leave Barcelona?” they ask, or simply say  “You left Barcelona for the UK? REALLY?!”

I still don’t know how to answer any of those questions, in a way I’m starting to label them as rhetorical . Although I guess, for the sake of clarity, it’s best if I explain why I left Barcelona in the first place.

While it is a beautiful city with gorgeous architecture, fantastic restaurants, and generally lovely weather, I grew tired of, daily, sharing my personal space with thousands of tourists. I ended up fed up of having to literally push them off me, when, in dozens, they covered the pavements, refusing to budge an inch during their holidays. I became a stressed-out Barcelona citizen, desperately trying to avoid them stepping on your dog, get to work without being pushed to the road and run-over, or arrive home and free yourself from whatever you are carrying. I also developed a distaste for the hordes of pickpockets that exist to torment said tourists or give you an unnecessary fright while you walk home after a night out.

Additionally, I have two dogs. Yes Barcelona is pretty dog-friendly, but it also has extremely busy streets and very few parks, that are either pay-per-visit (Güell), full of tourists (Ciutadella) or populated by policemen that busy themselves fining anyone with a chihuahua off the leash (Parc l’Estació del Nord), instead of aiding the poor lady who just got mugged in broad daylight.

So yes, Barcelona, wonderful at night, gorgeous in the sunshine, even when your sweat is dripping down your back and your landlord has just told you he’s evicting you so he can advertise your flat on Airbnb… it just wasn’t meant to be, and East Sussex called my name.

So here I am.

Yes, I did wrap up as it’s bloody nippy. It took its time, but the cold is finally here, and, unlike Barcelona, it is really, truly, undeniably freezing. There are no hipster, bang-on-trend, pop-up cafes I can walk to, but there are miles and miles of countryside, in which to stroll or run with my dogs, and my thighs have never looked better.

Yes, there is sun…lots of. When you live in the countryside, with few buildings around you and you work from home, you get to see that the sun does shine in England, quite brightly. My sunglasses are, as in Barcelona, always on me.

Additionally, I’m smiling more. It does get dark awfully early, but I get up at 7 am, walk the dogs, do yoga and by the time I’m sat at my desk it’s barely 9am. This gives me many hours and things to do until it’s – oh my God – 5pm and pitch black. Once darkness hits my town, the lack of street lighting means a mind-blowing starry sky shines down on me. It’s surprisingly light up there.

My Zara “working boots” are constantly caked in mud and surprisingly, haven’t broken yet. This means I haven’t completely morphed into countryside folk, donning practical green wellies and proper walking boots – but watch this space.

I love it here, I really do. Yes I miss certain things about Barcelona, such as its people, Daniela, Luli, Mila, the French girls, my editor, my Yoga buddies, and also wonderful places like Lataberna de Juanjo, but that city wasn’t for me. London is a short train ride away, and the city girl inside of me may need to go there occasionally. Brighton is even closer, so hipster cafes are there when I need them.

I still have no answers for those that quiz me on the “absurdity of leaving sunny Spain for the UK”, and I probably will never have a reply that pleases them – for the sake of dinner party amusement I’m working on a funny one. I don’t regret my decision, and I love my current lifestyle. East Sussex works for me, right now. I may never stay here for good, I may go back to Spain, or may even move to Australia. What I know is that I followed my gut instinct and it led me to a happier place. But my gut is mine, so listen to your own and do what you need to do.

Pictures: Fashion Limbo

Reasons not to enjoy Yoga… and how to change that

Yoga is a great way to stay fit, healthy and fight stress. Depending on the type you practise, it can also make you incredibly stronger. However, for many, Yoga is that discipline that never seems to “click”. The first time I practised Yoga – more than 7 years ago – I wasn’t hooked, and although I knew it was good for me, I never really enjoyed it that much. Until a couple of years ago, when I found a great teacher, a fun class and my mind was blown. It’s not down to a single factor, but a few that could be stopping you from enjoying Yoga the way it’s meant to be:

1- Caring about what everyone else is doing: whether it’s your studio peeps, or your Instagram newsfeed, checking out what others are doing can be counter-productive. Yoga is about forgetting about everything around you, for a good reason: it helps you focus and release tension. Paying attention to who’s around you will very likely make you wonder about what you “should be doing”. I was terrible at looking around me, whether it was to gawp at the scary see-through leggings in front of me, or to see who could do what I couldn’t. It took some practice, but once I stopped caring about what happened around me, I began focusing on my breathing, my body and my mind, becoming better at Yoga.

2- Forcing your poses: we are all designed differently, with different levels of flexibility, strength, longer or shorter limbs. Certain asanas -poses- work great for some, but forcing yourself to bend backwards when your back is saying “no”, will only result in injury. If a pose doesn’t feel right, if your face is tensing or if you feel pain during and/or after practicing, there may be an asana – or two, to three – that needs to leave your practice, and that is OK. There are also no perfect ways of doing a pose – no matter who has told you otherwise, they are wrong – Your downward-facing dog may require you to keep your knees bent. That is also OK.

3- Forcing your evolution: during my first months practicing Yoga I became frustrated when I saw no improvement in my flexibility levels. Being impatient did me no good, I became frustrated, and sometimes left my class feeling like a useless broken doll. I lacked patience. I had to keep working, without expecting my body to change, even accepting some things may never happen for me, like the splits. Accepting that my body may not be designed to flex that way, gave me a sense of relief, and whenever I look like a broken doll – meaning I’m a sweaty mess on the mat – I laugh it off.  

4- Not taking it seriously: I’m the first one to make fun of myself, when teaching and when practicing. However, a fantastic yoga teacher once asked me whether I didn’t take my practice seriously because I didn’t believe in myself. Being serious about Yoga is not about ceasing to smile. It means when I do it alone at home, I take the time to create the atmosphere, to light candles, to make it a real treat. In a studio, taking it seriously means believing your practice will be good for you. It means you will stick to it instead of thinking “oh, but I suck at it, so I might as well not go today”. Respect yourself enough to see your practice as something great, that you deserve 100%.

5 – Doing the wrong type of Yoga: there are so many ways of doing Yoga, with music, without, in a hot room, outdoors, with blocks, with movement, without… the list is endless. I plan to write about this further, but it may be that the kind of Yoga you tried was too focused on meditation, when what you required was something more active, or the other way around. Yoga practices can differ so much from one another, it really is worth checking out several studios in your town.

6 – Sticking to the wrong teacher: there are many good Yoga professionals, there are even more that are bad. More than the style of yoga, it really is up to liking your teacher. If you have fun with whoever is in charge of the practice, you will have fun during it. It’s a lot to do with chemistry, if you teacher doesn’t get you, then it’s time to move on.

And finally, it’s all about timing: sometimes it’s not your day, week, month, or even year, so if you are wondering why you are struggling so much, it may be that it’s not the right time in your life to practice with a certain regularity. Let go, give yourself time, space, and come back to Yoga whenever you want to. 

Want to be sexy? Say you’re a feminist

Feminism is quite a controversial word. It caused social unrest decades ago when, in the name of it, women fought the system . Today, using the term on social media will likely mean you will lose some followers, be insulted or mocked, or even have people send you rape and death threats. Fronting any campaign on the subject will also attract the same sort of vile reaction, just read the news. Type the word “feminism” on Twitter or Google and you quickly get suggested search terms such as “Feminism is Awful”. If you type “feminists”, the term appears followed by “are ugly”.

There is one absolute truth about feminism: the belief in the equality of the sexes. The lovely Emma Watson raised the subject again recently, at a UN conference, in the name of He For She, a campaign aimed at getting men involved in feminism. Why? Because equal rights affect both genders, because fighting for human rights denied to millions of human beings due to their sex, is something men should care about too.

Plus…

A male feminist is sexy. 

If you are a guy, and say something along the lines of “I’m a feminist”, women will adore you. We will, that’s absolutely, 100 percent true. Have you seen the reactions these men are getting over social media? Ovaries are exploding. Caitlin Moran says it best: 

We will throw flowers at you, we will tell our friends how unbelievably attractive you are, we will adore the ground you walk on. Because we love guys like you. Because the world needs more men like you.

Every time your mother, your sister, your best friend is paid less money at work for doing the exact same job as a man… we need men like you.

Every time your mother, your sister, your best friend gets denied the right to decide what to do with her body and her life by a group of men with way too much power… we need guys like you.

Every time your daughter gets a job as a copywriter/mathematician/lawyer but instead is made to serve coffees to her male counterparts and complimented not on her skills but on her skirt … we need men like you.

Every time your daughter is told to cover up because she may bring rape on herself by showing her legs… we need men like you.

Feminism is necessary for me as a woman, for your mother, your sister, your niece, your best friend, your daughter.

Tom Hiddleston, Simon Pegg and every guy tweeting in the name of He For She, declaring themselves feminists, I salute you, you sexy beasts.

Pictures: Fashion Limbo, an excerpt of Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman, Tom Hiddleston Twitter

From zero to your own hero

I used to think I was pretty useless. I labelled myself as a loser and considered myself undeserving of anything good, such as friends, money, holidays and love. More often than not, I felt deflated hanging out with people that earned more than me, admiring their lovely clothes and flawless manicures or their seemingly fulfilling existences. It’s not that I resented them, I admired them and their abilities to become who they were. The one receiving all the hateful judging was myself. 

Life treats us all differently. Whether you were fired from your job, bullied in school, abused by those who are supposed to love you, treated unfairly at any point of your life: the worst thing you can do, is believe what negative, narrow-minded and somewhat twisted individuals say about you. Someone or something may have put those ideas in your head, and they may not even be true, have you ever considered that?

You should never cease to believe that you are your own person, master of your own life, and, incredibly enough, your own hero. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and saw yourself for the incredible human being that you really are?

The operative word being “used” – as in I used to be pretty cruel to myself – this is what made me change the way I looked at myself.

1- Sleeping more: As simple as it sounds, getting some extra time under the covers can do wonders. Fatigue makes me cranky, and when I’m at my moodiest, I take it out on myself. I feel slow, incapacitated and lazy. Every night I attempt to get a minimum of eight hours sleep, or whatever I need to wake up feeling rested. If I need more, a 20 minute nap in the afternoon can do wonders. Sleeping more will make you think better, feel better and it has a direct link with improving your health, so get snoozing.

2- Carefully select what you share and who with: The best decisions I’ve ever taken are those in which I really didn’t consult anyone. I was always the type of person who needed a second, or even third opinion when it came to decisions affecting my career or my lifestyle: basically, anything that was relevant only to me. Over the years I listened to those that said “that’s a stupid idea” or “you’ll never be happy if you do that” and even “how can you want to do that?!”. Each of these opinions came from people that, supposedly, loved me. The truth is that, taking their own fears and doubts as my own, I ended up unhappy and pursuing nothing. Since I stopped doing that, which was easier than I thought, I am feeling happier by the day, failing and succeeding at my own decisions. I’ve never felt freer. I’ve never felt greater.

3- Take up a challenge: Maybe it’s climbing a high mountain, or training for a half marathon, or you may want to read four books in one month. Whatever you fancy doing but are unsure, just set yourself the challenge and get on with it. Mine was getting a yoga teacher’s certificate, with a life-altering injury and zero confidence. You can read more about it here, and here. Last week I was given my certificate, and I am now fit to teach Yoga. That rectangle of paper made me feel like a true badass…which is quite a wonderful feeling. 

4- Listen to your gut: it something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably because it isn’t. Don’t force yourself to do things that others expect you to do. Ask yourself, who will be disappointed? If it’s others, think long and hard about what you do to yourself. How will the situation affect you and how will it feel after you do it. If you’re the one to suffer, don’t do it. Take care of YOURSELF, then take care of others, just like the safety announcements on planes.

5- Replace the nasty lie with a beautiful statement: Most of my negativity comes from statements such as “I’m a slacker and a loser”. If I am going to make declarations that are not true, why not make them wonderful? “I work REALLY hard and I’m a success” -> this is the mantra I should apply to myself, the words I should keep in my head. Not the negative, self-destructing ones, because those do nothing for me. Think about what negative things you say about yourself, write them down, then turn them around. 

Life is tough enough, with its daily battles, dizzy highs and trying lows. Realising you are the most important person in your own existence, championing yourself and celebrating your own achievements is as important as drinking water. Feed yourself from the inside out, you deserve it.

6 beauty products I keep going back to

This is a post about certain beauty products I would buy in bulk if I could. Little fixes that I always stock up on whenever there’s a promotion. They work, and have changed my skin for the better.

It took me a few years to realise just how picky my skin could be. I never experienced acne as a teenager, but in my late twenties, it became a constant war, with visits to expensive dermatologists that served of very little, – not that I wouldn’t recommend going to one, I just didn’t find the right person to deal with my skin – years of scrubbing, using harsh chemicals and, ultimately, treating my skin really badly. It ended up being oily in some areas, yet extremely dry, dehydrated and flaky in others. With regards to what has worked in my case, it’s mostly down to gentle thorough cleansing, the right face cream and make up.

Lush has been a massive discovery to me. Angels on Bare Skin (Piel de Angel in the picture) is a fantastic cleanser I use twice daily with the hot cloth cleansing method (see Sali Hughes for this). It provides very gentle exfoliating, and cleanses without stripping your skin of very necessary oils. It smells like heaven: almond, lavender, chamomile. Then there’s Vanishing Cream, a light, über soft face cream with Witch Hazel extract (a natural antibacterial) and dashes of lavender, rose, grapeseed oil, honey and lindseed infusion. Both these products have done wonders for my skin, which at present, is perfectly clear and extremely healthy.

For when I need an extra pick-me up with my skin, I have Kiehl’s and it’s actually amazing Midnight Recovery Concentrate.

The first time I heard of this product I thought it was the result of an effective marketing campaign, and possibly a fad. However, even with the expensive pricetag (around €40 on my side) I decided to give it a go and Oh-My-Dior was I impressed. Every time I use it (after cleansing my skin, before applying my night cream) the morning after my skin looks plump and bright, as if I’ve slept for 10 hours. It’s basically beauty-sleep in a teeny weeny bottle. I only apply a couple of drops on my forehead, and around my eyes and cheeks. For me, it works, brilliantly.

With regards to make up, with my unruly and over-sensitive skin, most foundations would clog up my pores, and wearing anything for long hours became a no-no. That is until I came across bareMinerals.

Their Matte SPF15 Foundation agrees with my skin. It’s light, easy to apply – just make sure you invest in a good brush, specific for mineral powder -. If I feel like it, and need it for extra coverage, I grab my Mac concealer to camouflage any imperfections, and finish off with Mineral Veil also by bareMinerals.

Another miracle product comes in the form of a primer, by Urban Decay.

Their Eyeshadow Primer Potion comes in handy with my eye-liner addiction. I normally go for the original shade, and it’s simply brilliant. If I want eye make-up that stays in its place, all day, rain or shine, this is the product I go for.

Last but not least, my favourite lip balm, discovered via a goodie-bag, it has to be Carmex.

I would be lost without my daily dose of Carmex lip balm. Oh how many times have I ran through Gatwick airport in search of this little pot of subtle magic. It’s extremely pleasurable to wear. Works great when applied in a tiny amount (dab a tissue on your lips to remove excess) as a base for red lipstick.

And that’s it. These are the products I go back to, over and over. Tears will fall the day any of these go out of production, so I welcome any suggestions on your own favourites.

x

Pictures: Fashion Limbo

How To Wear Brogues

Brogues: a man’s shoe fit for women? We began to spot them last year, worn by Alexa Chung and other celebrities. However, with the masculine/androgynous trend coming up this autumn/winter, we are going to see them everywhere. While I love my heels and wedges, I’ve always been a fan of … men’s shoes. A tad weird, I know, but I guess it just proves the point that, if I were a man, I would have the same ridiculous shoe collection as I have being girlie me. Not too freaked out by my musings yet? ok, I shall go on.

I initially got a grey come blue pair from Primark in Spring, loved their comfort and paired them with skinny jeans and chinos. A couple of weeks ago while browsing Spartoo, I fell for the ones pictured above (you can find them here). As soon as the postman delivered them, I don’t know what it was, I loved them even more. And I have already thought of 3 ways in which to wear these beauties.

Option number 1: Inspired by Alexa as seen here.

Blouse: Zara
Cut-out jeans: Etnies
Shoes: Clarks courtesy of Spartoo

Is it just me or do I look really tiny in this picture?

Look number 2: the masculine take. Probably my favourite. Comfy yet I felt quite sexy wearing some red lipstick and attempting to style my hair with a retro quiff and a ponytail.

Jacket: Zara
Top: Denny Rose
Shoes: Clarks courtesy of Spartoo

Option number 3: Girlie girl

Dress: New Look
T-shirt: Pull & Bear
Shoes: Clarks courtesy of Spartoo

So there you have it, three different ways in which to wear brogues. They also look great with a pretty cocktail dress, but the overall silhouette must be sleek, so avoid making the top part of the body too bulky.

Brogues are a style of shoes that you either love or hate, what is your take? Masculine trends for women, yay or nay?

Pictures: Fashion Limbo