Reasons not to enjoy Yoga… and how to change that

Yoga is a great way to stay fit, healthy and fight stress. Depending on the type you practise, it can also make you incredibly stronger. However, for many, Yoga is that discipline that never seems to “click”. The first time I practised Yoga – more than 7 years ago – I wasn’t hooked, and although I knew it was good for me, I never really enjoyed it that much. Until a couple of years ago, when I found a great teacher, a fun class and my mind was blown. It’s not down to a single factor, but a few that could be stopping you from enjoying Yoga the way it’s meant to be:

1- Caring about what everyone else is doing: whether it’s your studio peeps, or your Instagram newsfeed, checking out what others are doing can be counter-productive. Yoga is about forgetting about everything around you, for a good reason: it helps you focus and release tension. Paying attention to who’s around you will very likely make you wonder about what you “should be doing”. I was terrible at looking around me, whether it was to gawp at the scary see-through leggings in front of me, or to see who could do what I couldn’t. It took some practice, but once I stopped caring about what happened around me, I began focusing on my breathing, my body and my mind, becoming better at Yoga.

2- Forcing your poses: we are all designed differently, with different levels of flexibility, strength, longer or shorter limbs. Certain asanas -poses- work great for some, but forcing yourself to bend backwards when your back is saying “no”, will only result in injury. If a pose doesn’t feel right, if your face is tensing or if you feel pain during and/or after practicing, there may be an asana – or two, to three – that needs to leave your practice, and that is OK. There are also no perfect ways of doing a pose – no matter who has told you otherwise, they are wrong – Your downward-facing dog may require you to keep your knees bent. That is also OK.

3- Forcing your evolution: during my first months practicing Yoga I became frustrated when I saw no improvement in my flexibility levels. Being impatient did me no good, I became frustrated, and sometimes left my class feeling like a useless broken doll. I lacked patience. I had to keep working, without expecting my body to change, even accepting some things may never happen for me, like the splits. Accepting that my body may not be designed to flex that way, gave me a sense of relief, and whenever I look like a broken doll – meaning I’m a sweaty mess on the mat – I laugh it off.  

4- Not taking it seriously: I’m the first one to make fun of myself, when teaching and when practicing. However, a fantastic yoga teacher once asked me whether I didn’t take my practice seriously because I didn’t believe in myself. Being serious about Yoga is not about ceasing to smile. It means when I do it alone at home, I take the time to create the atmosphere, to light candles, to make it a real treat. In a studio, taking it seriously means believing your practice will be good for you. It means you will stick to it instead of thinking “oh, but I suck at it, so I might as well not go today”. Respect yourself enough to see your practice as something great, that you deserve 100%.

5 – Doing the wrong type of Yoga: there are so many ways of doing Yoga, with music, without, in a hot room, outdoors, with blocks, with movement, without… the list is endless. I plan to write about this further, but it may be that the kind of Yoga you tried was too focused on meditation, when what you required was something more active, or the other way around. Yoga practices can differ so much from one another, it really is worth checking out several studios in your town.

6 – Sticking to the wrong teacher: there are many good Yoga professionals, there are even more that are bad. More than the style of yoga, it really is up to liking your teacher. If you have fun with whoever is in charge of the practice, you will have fun during it. It’s a lot to do with chemistry, if you teacher doesn’t get you, then it’s time to move on.

And finally, it’s all about timing: sometimes it’s not your day, week, month, or even year, so if you are wondering why you are struggling so much, it may be that it’s not the right time in your life to practice with a certain regularity. Let go, give yourself time, space, and come back to Yoga whenever you want to. 

From zero to your own hero

I used to think I was pretty useless. I labelled myself as a loser and considered myself undeserving of anything good, such as friends, money, holidays and love. More often than not, I felt deflated hanging out with people that earned more than me, admiring their lovely clothes and flawless manicures or their seemingly fulfilling existences. It’s not that I resented them, I admired them and their abilities to become who they were. The one receiving all the hateful judging was myself. 

Life treats us all differently. Whether you were fired from your job, bullied in school, abused by those who are supposed to love you, treated unfairly at any point of your life: the worst thing you can do, is believe what negative, narrow-minded and somewhat twisted individuals say about you. Someone or something may have put those ideas in your head, and they may not even be true, have you ever considered that?

You should never cease to believe that you are your own person, master of your own life, and, incredibly enough, your own hero. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and saw yourself for the incredible human being that you really are?

The operative word being “used” – as in I used to be pretty cruel to myself – this is what made me change the way I looked at myself.

1- Sleeping more: As simple as it sounds, getting some extra time under the covers can do wonders. Fatigue makes me cranky, and when I’m at my moodiest, I take it out on myself. I feel slow, incapacitated and lazy. Every night I attempt to get a minimum of eight hours sleep, or whatever I need to wake up feeling rested. If I need more, a 20 minute nap in the afternoon can do wonders. Sleeping more will make you think better, feel better and it has a direct link with improving your health, so get snoozing.

2- Carefully select what you share and who with: The best decisions I’ve ever taken are those in which I really didn’t consult anyone. I was always the type of person who needed a second, or even third opinion when it came to decisions affecting my career or my lifestyle: basically, anything that was relevant only to me. Over the years I listened to those that said “that’s a stupid idea” or “you’ll never be happy if you do that” and even “how can you want to do that?!”. Each of these opinions came from people that, supposedly, loved me. The truth is that, taking their own fears and doubts as my own, I ended up unhappy and pursuing nothing. Since I stopped doing that, which was easier than I thought, I am feeling happier by the day, failing and succeeding at my own decisions. I’ve never felt freer. I’ve never felt greater.

3- Take up a challenge: Maybe it’s climbing a high mountain, or training for a half marathon, or you may want to read four books in one month. Whatever you fancy doing but are unsure, just set yourself the challenge and get on with it. Mine was getting a yoga teacher’s certificate, with a life-altering injury and zero confidence. You can read more about it here, and here. Last week I was given my certificate, and I am now fit to teach Yoga. That rectangle of paper made me feel like a true badass…which is quite a wonderful feeling. 

4- Listen to your gut: it something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably because it isn’t. Don’t force yourself to do things that others expect you to do. Ask yourself, who will be disappointed? If it’s others, think long and hard about what you do to yourself. How will the situation affect you and how will it feel after you do it. If you’re the one to suffer, don’t do it. Take care of YOURSELF, then take care of others, just like the safety announcements on planes.

5- Replace the nasty lie with a beautiful statement: Most of my negativity comes from statements such as “I’m a slacker and a loser”. If I am going to make declarations that are not true, why not make them wonderful? “I work REALLY hard and I’m a success” -> this is the mantra I should apply to myself, the words I should keep in my head. Not the negative, self-destructing ones, because those do nothing for me. Think about what negative things you say about yourself, write them down, then turn them around. 

Life is tough enough, with its daily battles, dizzy highs and trying lows. Realising you are the most important person in your own existence, championing yourself and celebrating your own achievements is as important as drinking water. Feed yourself from the inside out, you deserve it.